It Took Four Years to Hit the Restart Button

4 years and I have hit the restart button to do what I almost always love the most...Write.

I am not sure how long I can go on before another period of sabbatical hits me. Ha!

Life has changed so much. 2.5 years married with a 2 month old. (Baby Girl Woo Hoo!). And almost 6 years into job.

An idle (idling doesn't happen too often these days not with a 2 month old to take care of) Saturday late evening, sitting with my (office) laptop browsing meaningless stuffs and a sudden realization hits me that I used to have a blog and that I used to write a lot, like everyday, and that followers used to follow and well wishers used to appreciate.

My mind is full. So much has happened over the years. Dear! Bear with me till I can throw it all out at you.

Till then. Adios. 

When For The World You are Dead.

Have you ever noticed a dead leaf falling? Have you ever noticed it lying there silent, moving only when the wind touches it or the world passes by?

Always goes unnoticed, doesn't it? Does not pass as our mere thought even. 

It does. It will. Only you have to be the dead leaf. Only when you go completely unnoticed to the world,  do you realize the pain of ignorance. Only when your emotions...feelings.....and the whole you are totally ignored by the world do you understand....understand who you thought you were to the people and who you really are now to them. 

But you live, you are very much living...not alive....but surviving to yourself. You eat, sleep, work, play and watch the world go by, watch the 'once your close' people pass by, move on in their lives and here you are merely surviving, thinking where exactly you landed yourself up! Who exactly is bothered about you? Who exactly feels your pain but looks through you.

Do they have the time? 

You never realize your worth not when the whole world is watching you and you have too many people who care for you and love you. You take them for granted. You know they will always be there in your life. You know there will never come a day when people will say Goodbye. 

You know there is something called 'forever'.

And then.....

They go away. They don't need you any more. You are over for them. You are their past. It's that moment when for the world you are dead. The loved ones you once loved, cared for and desired, slip away from your grasp, leaving behind vivid memories to live with. 

It is then you realize your worth, who you really are and what you want to be. You realize that it's not the people who make you but you who makes yourself. No one has the power to make you, no one has the power to deny you. You, you and only you have the right and power to become what you wanted to be or not to be. 

When for the world you are dead, you give yourself a new beginning. You give yourself a new sunrise. When for the world you are no one anymore, you break yourself free from the old bonding for a whole new chapter. 

Love is important, feeling important to people is necessary. But pain and shun are even more important because it is only the negativity of these feelings that help you know yourself. 

They help take you from one journey to another slowly and painfully to give you a beautiful life. A life you have only dreamed of. 

Hope.

"Hope is when you know you need to let go, but hold on anyway"

Learn to let go of your hopes. Sometimes. 


With hope comes pains and suffering, isn't it? You hope for something big, you hope for something small. You hope for nothing. And finally where does it all take you. Nowhere. Just about nowhere.

Stop hoping, please and move on. Trust me, it will cost you nothing. What you are clinging on to might have already gone. Stop holding on to it. I know, I know it is very difficult to let go. But try at least. It will save your life and not harm you.   

There will come a time when you are going to laugh at your past. Have patience to wait for that celestial hour in your life. Hope with things that are going to be worth it in the end. Give away your hope to people who would respect it. It might feel to be a seamless impossibility, but relax, you will be rewarded.

Almost all of us like the pain of hoping against hope. Almost all of us are ruthless lovers and friends. Almost all of us are pathetic at trying to live life! Hang on, wait, take your time, contemplate, get over it and MOVE ON!

Hoping is not a crime, but inflicting pain on yourself is. There is nothing wrong in expecting, but there is nothing right either, in wronging your being for someone or something that will not make you happy.

When was the last time you let go of something dear to you, easily? When was the last time you thought just for yourself? When was the last time you sacrificed something thinking about your own happiness in the future? Do you remember? It's ok, neither do I. Incorrigible aren't we? 

Hope like a child, so that you can forget about it soon. Treat every hope like a mirage. Treat each of your hope like sand. Don't run towards it, don't grip it too hard. Hope will keep coming back to you in a different disguise every time. You just have to learn to let it go.

Period. 
Image Courtesy: Asitavsen.com

A Fanatical Search For The Missing Clue

"The nice thing about doing a crossword puzzle is, you know there is a solution." - Stephen Sondheim.

But what about life? I wish life was a crossword puzzle too, at least then I would know that there is a solution, all i needed to do was find out what that was. However, it is a topsy turvy thing with life. You and every one around you are puzzled and dazed, with not knowing what to do....

Every one of us are dealing with problems, while only very few are solved, most of our problems do not have an end. We search and we search for a solution fanatically, but what's the point? We think it's solved, when it comes back to us as fast as a boomerang hitting us harder on the head. We remain injured, seriously injured, but you know what?...

There is no healing!

While you might think what you are dealing with is the worst that can happen to anyone, there is another person, may be a stranger, walking right past you, who might be even more unfortunate than you are. 

Everyone is going berserk! Ouch! 

Each one of us feel the same way. But what drives me completely crazy is when I can't figure what exactly is wrong. I mean , if you think hard, you might realize that there is no real problem that surrounds us most of the times, but still we are unhappy and discontented with what we have. So where does it all lie? Can it be only in our subconscious? Are we crazy bunch of being living in a disastrously complex world that is destroying everything around us, our relationships, things we love and finally breaking 'US' and leaving us so fragile? And all of this without any reason whatsoever? 

All of us are living with completely different problems, but what connects each of us is the fact that we never seem to find that last remaining piece that would complete the puzzle. We are fanatically searching for the missing clue. 

And the worst feeling is when we are not able to decipher what or where the whole trouble lies. We blame people, people blame us, we blame ourselves and people approve of that.  And it goes on and on like a cycle, that would never end.  It;s so complex that it tires me to even pen down these thoughts...

Just wishing that at least once in life we are able to find the missing clue.....

So that we can take that one last missing piece of life's puzzle to our graves. 

Image courtesy: Clergyecoveriny.com

If Dreams Came True...

"Dreams are like stars...you may never touch them, but if you follow them they will lead you to your destiny.” 

May i take a moment out to audaciously speak against the quote above? If the statement following your dreams would lead you to your destiny, holds true then why can't beggars ride horses called 'wish'? Then why does a person dreaming passionately,  has to see them shattering down like a mirror broken into million pieces?

Courtesy: eso-garden.com

It all depends on the kind of dreams that each one of us have. The few fortunate ones can celebrate their dreams coming true while others are left with nothing but wishes. Trust me, they kill! But, wait a minute, consider this. Why not spend sometime pondering over the fact, what if all dreams came true? And we got exactly what we wished for all the time? Would dreams have the same values in our eyes, the way they are now? 

Even life would lose it's meaning if everything we desired for just reached to us in a flash. Things would get all so mechanical and we would never be happy and content with anything. Let alone the fact that we as it is never are satisfied.

What worth would be to hope, what worth would be to expect? Dream is one of the most celestial ways of taking you to a world quite contrary to the reality. And it is also one of the most haunting ways of bringing you back to the utterly scary reality. Accept that! I know it hurts...It will. But the important thing is to walk on.

Try with all you might  to make your dreams come true! When one door closes, another opens. So why not gladly welcome another rainbow dream in your life? The important fact is to never top dreaming, never stop believing in your dreams. 

There are innumerable people around you whose right to dream, to hope has been taken away.  You are the lucky star....So dream while you can......Let the stars shine down on you forever......