It Took Four Years to Hit the Restart Button

4 years and I have hit the restart button to do what I almost always love the most...Write.

I am not sure how long I can go on before another period of sabbatical hits me. Ha!

Life has changed so much. 2.5 years married with a 2 month old. (Baby Girl Woo Hoo!). And almost 6 years into job.

An idle (idling doesn't happen too often these days not with a 2 month old to take care of) Saturday late evening, sitting with my (office) laptop browsing meaningless stuffs and a sudden realization hits me that I used to have a blog and that I used to write a lot, like everyday, and that followers used to follow and well wishers used to appreciate.

My mind is full. So much has happened over the years. Dear! Bear with me till I can throw it all out at you.

Till then. Adios. 

When For The World You are Dead.

Have you ever noticed a dead leaf falling? Have you ever noticed it lying there silent, moving only when the wind touches it or the world passes by?

Always goes unnoticed, doesn't it? Does not pass as our mere thought even. 

It does. It will. Only you have to be the dead leaf. Only when you go completely unnoticed to the world,  do you realize the pain of ignorance. Only when your emotions...feelings.....and the whole you are totally ignored by the world do you understand....understand who you thought you were to the people and who you really are now to them. 

But you live, you are very much living...not alive....but surviving to yourself. You eat, sleep, work, play and watch the world go by, watch the 'once your close' people pass by, move on in their lives and here you are merely surviving, thinking where exactly you landed yourself up! Who exactly is bothered about you? Who exactly feels your pain but looks through you.

Do they have the time? 

You never realize your worth not when the whole world is watching you and you have too many people who care for you and love you. You take them for granted. You know they will always be there in your life. You know there will never come a day when people will say Goodbye. 

You know there is something called 'forever'.

And then.....

They go away. They don't need you any more. You are over for them. You are their past. It's that moment when for the world you are dead. The loved ones you once loved, cared for and desired, slip away from your grasp, leaving behind vivid memories to live with. 

It is then you realize your worth, who you really are and what you want to be. You realize that it's not the people who make you but you who makes yourself. No one has the power to make you, no one has the power to deny you. You, you and only you have the right and power to become what you wanted to be or not to be. 

When for the world you are dead, you give yourself a new beginning. You give yourself a new sunrise. When for the world you are no one anymore, you break yourself free from the old bonding for a whole new chapter. 

Love is important, feeling important to people is necessary. But pain and shun are even more important because it is only the negativity of these feelings that help you know yourself. 

They help take you from one journey to another slowly and painfully to give you a beautiful life. A life you have only dreamed of. 

Give To Be Happy!

"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up."  - Mark Twain


We often hear the wise talking about 'gift of giving'. And the saying  holds good for all time to come.  To give is to make others happy. To give is to sacrifice. It's all about that overwhelming smile on your loved one's face. You partially give up your own happiness, wants, joy and demands to fulfill all of them for those significant people in your life. That's how  it makes you beautiful. 


'Giving' is what i have learnt from ma. I have grown up seeing her give a 'gift called life' to everyone around her selflessly. Never thinking about herself in the process.  I was amazed to see how that made her happy. I guess that's how someone can define the ultimate happiness. 


 Even if you are in pain, even if the world around you seems to crash down, even if you need to hide your tears to make your dear ones strong and happy, so be it! In return what you are going to receive is an unknown fulfillment.  


There are many of us who are blessed with beauty by the Almighty. Yet, the apparent looks that we possess is vulnerable to the ones replacing them. They go as swiftly as them come. Eternal is what you do, how you behave and what's you contribution in somebody's life.This determines your inner beauty and worthiness. 


" Act as if what you do makes a difference.  It does."  - William James