Saturday, 15 October 2011

A Fanatical Search For The Missing Clue

"The nice thing about doing a crossword puzzle is, you know there is a solution." - Stephen Sondheim.

But what about life? I wish life was a crossword puzzle too, at least then I would know that there is a solution, all i needed to do was find out what that was. However, it is a topsy turvy thing with life. You and every one around you are puzzled and dazed, with not knowing what to do....

Every one of us are dealing with problems, while only very few are solved, most of our problems do not have an end. We search and we search for a solution fanatically, but what's the point? We think it's solved, when it comes back to us as fast as a boomerang hitting us harder on the head. We remain injured, seriously injured, but you know what?...

There is no healing!

While you might think what you are dealing with is the worst that can happen to anyone, there is another person, may be a stranger, walking right past you, who might be even more unfortunate than you are. 

Everyone is going berserk! Ouch! 

Each one of us feel the same way. But what drives me completely crazy is when I can't figure what exactly is wrong. I mean , if you think hard, you might realize that there is no real problem that surrounds us most of the times, but still we are unhappy and discontented with what we have. So where does it all lie? Can it be only in our subconscious? Are we crazy bunch of being living in a disastrously complex world that is destroying everything around us, our relationships, things we love and finally breaking 'US' and leaving us so fragile? And all of this without any reason whatsoever? 

All of us are living with completely different problems, but what connects each of us is the fact that we never seem to find that last remaining piece that would complete the puzzle. We are fanatically searching for the missing clue. 

And the worst feeling is when we are not able to decipher what or where the whole trouble lies. We blame people, people blame us, we blame ourselves and people approve of that.  And it goes on and on like a cycle, that would never end.  It;s so complex that it tires me to even pen down these thoughts...

Just wishing that at least once in life we are able to find the missing clue.....

So that we can take that one last missing piece of life's puzzle to our graves. 

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Monday, 10 October 2011

How Much Are You Worth?

"Self-worth comes from one thing - thinking that you are worthy". Wayne Dyer

Just how much are you worth, to yourself and others around you? A penny, million dollars or priceless? Have you ever given it a thought? You might be leading a life, when you are loved and truly cared for. But there comes a time when your being starts to lose a meaning to your loved one and you start doubting yourself.

In life, it is important to stand up for yourself, voice your opinion, live your own life and do what you want to do. But love and care almost always binds you in doing something else just to see that sparkling smile on his face. And you are completely satisfied and happy doing it, like joyous that you are! You are gonna go all the way, break rules, step beyond boundaries to love him and do everything you can....

But then there comes day when you are bound to question yourself what is exactly your worth? You are going to find people telling you that your one mistake, a single wrong-doing leaves everything you ever did, UNDONE! You hear that, believe in it and you break down. What utterances! What loud words! Incapable of you to take it in! But then you do, you comply thinking yourself to be absolutely unworthy for the person's love and care! 

But still you live and you love, because that one person is rooted there beside you like your pillar.....

But wait, there is a question I keep asking myself. What is more vital for my living being - what others think of me, or what I think of myself. Is it really important to take in how others judge me, or where I see myself standing? But then all goes in vain when you have already believed in their words. 

You are going to come across people, in varieties. While some would stay, others would leave. Some with footprints, and others silently. Your parents, friends, lovers, all of them might judge you from time to time. Blame you, confront you, question you, break you and again make you, because they love you with all their mighty hearts.

Living life with people around, it is not quite possible to live on our own terms. And you should not, not worth it! But what you can do is, believe in yourself, in who you are. Discover and find yourself from your own ashes. Remember you are priceless, a star that shines even in the darkest night. Value yourself if you want your loved ones to value you. Take yourself for granted....

Because for others you might be worth nothing. But to yourself you are worth everything. 

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