Saturday 19 November 2011

Importance of Trust in a Relationship

It's a small 5-letter word. And yet the absence of it can make everything seem worthless. Without it, you won't see eye-to-eye with a person. Without it you'd wish you die rather than share your space, your heart with that one person. Without trust, relationships crumble. 

So, how deep is the importance of trust? Too much. When you love someone, your love towards them is reciprocated on how they trust you. Trust is the face of love. Without it, there is no love. Without it, there is no respect. Through trust you measure the depth of the relationship. You'd not trust your colleague like you trust your parents now, isn't it? 

However, the reason for writing this post isn't on just the importance of trust, it's on how trust is increasingly vanishing in relationships all around. Saddening.

Trust is like the winter fog. The morning fog truly brings the joy of the season, isn't it? Similarly, without trust, no matter how entwined you are in the other person's life, there still be that one reason to separate you two. You may comment on that other person's post every time he/she updates it, but your relationship wouldn't hold ground if you don't share your darkest fears. 

The crux of any relationship is trust. Without trust, misunderstandings creep in. With misunderstanding, the inevitable fights, and with that, a closed chapter. A closed chapter in case of a relationship is easier said than done. When you trust someone blindly till the very end, it's difficult to walk the same line after you are hurt. However, we humans love to commit mistakes time and again. And we inevitably begin trusting someone, anyone.

The need of the hour isn't to stop trusting anyone. It's about choosing the right person for showering our trust. When we trust someone so deeply, we might as well do that with a little forethought. Take some time out from your busy schedule and sit down to think about the people who really care for you. Not the ones who remember you for that one favor, not the ones who wish you on Facebook on your birthday. But the ones who just need a phone call to be right there beside you, who know your saddest thoughts, who know your deepest desires.

Often, we make the simple mistake of not being able to differentiate between the ones whom we trust and the ones who trust us. It's not a necessity that the ones you trust will trust you in return. So, forgive yourself and find the true gems, the ones who trust you, and make them feel special.

An earnest request of mine  - Trust the one who loves you. He/she will feel loved..will feel happy.

Thursday 3 November 2011

Choices....

 “No one else can ever make your choices for you. Your choices are yours alone. They are as much a part of you as every breath you will take, every moment of your life.” - Anonymous

Choices...They can kill you. 

Standing at one of those crossroads of life, I have understood and realized  that each step we take is intricately woven with a choice. A choice that we had to make at the cost of hurting people.  But, nothing really comes free. 

You stand in the middle with a wide 'elastic' string in your hand. Two of your loved ones stand at each end. Both of them tug and pull, to drag you to their side, making it more difficult for you to stand balanced. But you try hard to remain neutral, try your best not to be biased, not to defend any one of the two. But you fail so miserably. 

Both of them keep questions in front of you, questions you find difficult to answer. Questions that compel you to question yourself. But, your mind suddenly starts acting like a jigsaw puzzle. But how long are you going to stand there. You need to move forward, take a step. You know you can't last long, you have to make a CHOICE.

...And what's worse, you can't afford to look back. Yet, your past pulls you behind like a magnet, making you think of all choices that you had made, choices and decisions that were so wrong that it nearly took away your sanity. 

But now, you need to let go of the past feelings. You need to concentrate on the current choice that you need to make. A wrong step would prove to be fatal. Any side of the string you go, the other side would stretch away with the elastic string, and finally you would be left with nothing but a 'broken string'. 

But, you would not like to lose any of the two persons, you can't afford to. You bang your head, you cry aloud, go through sleepless nights, lose your sanity, and you just can't come out with a solution. 

You know, that no matter what choice you make, it is going to go against you! But then you ask yourself, if it's going to be worth it in the end. With choice comes a sacrifice. A cost. What if the one you sacrifice it all for is not worth anything? What if, you lose yourself in the process? What if nothing works out and all your loved ones go against you in the end, just because of this one choice that you make now? What if, ten years down the line you find no one by your side. Not even the one you made the choice for? 

What if, what if, what if.......It's all so nightmarish!

Every one of us go through such a crucial and cruel point in life when we need to decide on something. For someone. While some choices made prove fruitful, maximum of the others just go for a complete toss. 

But you know what, it's ok. It's ok as long as you don't lose faith in yourself. It' ok as long as you believe you have taken the right decision. It's ok if you feel that it is all going to be worth if not forever but for few  special moments in life....

No one makes the choice for you. It's perfectly fine, because it's your choice. You made the choice because you fell in love with it. Be possessive about it. Because your CHOICE is yours alone. 

Image courtesy: Happytransitions.wordpress.com