It Took Four Years to Hit the Restart Button

4 years and I have hit the restart button to do what I almost always love the most...Write.

I am not sure how long I can go on before another period of sabbatical hits me. Ha!

Life has changed so much. 2.5 years married with a 2 month old. (Baby Girl Woo Hoo!). And almost 6 years into job.

An idle (idling doesn't happen too often these days not with a 2 month old to take care of) Saturday late evening, sitting with my (office) laptop browsing meaningless stuffs and a sudden realization hits me that I used to have a blog and that I used to write a lot, like everyday, and that followers used to follow and well wishers used to appreciate.

My mind is full. So much has happened over the years. Dear! Bear with me till I can throw it all out at you.

Till then. Adios. 

When For The World You are Dead.

Have you ever noticed a dead leaf falling? Have you ever noticed it lying there silent, moving only when the wind touches it or the world passes by?

Always goes unnoticed, doesn't it? Does not pass as our mere thought even. 

It does. It will. Only you have to be the dead leaf. Only when you go completely unnoticed to the world,  do you realize the pain of ignorance. Only when your emotions...feelings.....and the whole you are totally ignored by the world do you understand....understand who you thought you were to the people and who you really are now to them. 

But you live, you are very much living...not alive....but surviving to yourself. You eat, sleep, work, play and watch the world go by, watch the 'once your close' people pass by, move on in their lives and here you are merely surviving, thinking where exactly you landed yourself up! Who exactly is bothered about you? Who exactly feels your pain but looks through you.

Do they have the time? 

You never realize your worth not when the whole world is watching you and you have too many people who care for you and love you. You take them for granted. You know they will always be there in your life. You know there will never come a day when people will say Goodbye. 

You know there is something called 'forever'.

And then.....

They go away. They don't need you any more. You are over for them. You are their past. It's that moment when for the world you are dead. The loved ones you once loved, cared for and desired, slip away from your grasp, leaving behind vivid memories to live with. 

It is then you realize your worth, who you really are and what you want to be. You realize that it's not the people who make you but you who makes yourself. No one has the power to make you, no one has the power to deny you. You, you and only you have the right and power to become what you wanted to be or not to be. 

When for the world you are dead, you give yourself a new beginning. You give yourself a new sunrise. When for the world you are no one anymore, you break yourself free from the old bonding for a whole new chapter. 

Love is important, feeling important to people is necessary. But pain and shun are even more important because it is only the negativity of these feelings that help you know yourself. 

They help take you from one journey to another slowly and painfully to give you a beautiful life. A life you have only dreamed of. 

Are You Giving Up?

"The minute you think of giving up, think of the reason why you held on for so long"


Never give up on something that you have always believed in. 

They tell you to stop, they say that you are not worthy enough. They say you can't do it. Well, I don't really blame them who say it. If you don't believe in yourself, trust me, no one will do it for you. 

So, what's your reason for giving up? You can't walk anymore? You are crippled with fear of what they will say? Too crippled to run? Are you lost? What is it! 

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They say you are not worthy of her, so you leave her. They say you are not worthy of your job, so you resign. They say you are not worthy of playing so you lose the game. They say you are not worthy of living so you start surviving. They say you are not worthy of life, so you quit living. 

So, what is that made you hold on for so long? Why didn't you die the day your senses told you that you are good-for-nothing? What is it that kept you going? It's you who needs to dream, who needs to live, who needs to prove that you are one in a million. 


You don't really need to run fast or compete with others. Competing with yourself is enough. Running is enough. Go ahead and do it, even though there might be voices calling you back. Go ahead and achieve what you have always wanted to, in life, even though there might be invisible threads trying to hold you back....


Go ahead and finish what you are asked not to. Love the one you are forbidden to. Enjoy things that you are deprived of. And love yourself for being who you are....


Remember it is only you who can stop you from dreaming. And it's only you who can stop yourself from giving up. Make yourself an EXCEPTION because this world has too many people who give up and too few who have never learned to 'call it quits'. 

Change.

My last blog for the year of 2011. 

"It's not the years in life that count, it's the life in your years" 

A year gone by. Things changed. We changed. We changed situations, and situations changed us. 

Change is inevitable. It is the only thing that remains constant. Everything else is just a matter of time. It's been a year of happiness. A year of sadness. A year that has given me ample and yet has taken away quite a lot. 

My grand-father passed away, a great loss to the family, to me. And I could do nothing. I regretted not having spent enough time with him. I miss him so much! I got an appraisal, happy moment to live for. My relationships grew stronger. I lost people, I gained people......

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I don't know where to stop. Because I can't find the manner in which to begin. There are so many things to say and yet no right words to express it. The whole year surely didn't go for a waste, but it wasn't too fruitful either. I was  too much in a rush to even think of anything. Kept on running, kept on hunting, kept on striving to achieve the twinkling stars looking above. But I failed to look down, failed to stop, failed to stand for a moment and think. Even though I heard people calling me, asking me to stop and tag them along with me. Should I feel guilty? 

Everything happened so fast, like in a blink of an eye. And I never stood still. Not even for once. I ran with time. I perished. May be. 

Just two more days before the year ends and I can't figure out exactly where I stand. Too many people, too many memories, too many talks, too many reactions, too many voices shouting out! Crowd! Yet NOTHING. 

Was I a loser, was I a winner? Was I! Was I! ! Did I make other people happy? Did others make me happy? Where are we today? Just building virtual relationships with people on the other side? What about the ones around us? Did we have time enough for them?

As we witness another beginning, make yourself understand that it is not your job, money or any other materialistic things in life that will make you happy, it is the ones whom you have grown with. Who have grown with you. Love them, respect them, stand beside them when there is still time.

A day will come when they will not be there anymore and that day all you are going to do is regret, like I did. So, this year without a second thought resolute to stay with your loved ones. Give them time. Love them, hug them and tell them how glad you are to have them in your life. 

Before they CHANGE. And go away.....

Tick Tock Goes The Clock....

"They say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself" - Andy Warhol

TIME. It's ticking.  

Sounds a little off to many but the statement surely explains a lot to quite a few people. At least it does to me. Time, they say changes everything, well? Now how true can that be when it is you who needs to solve matters. It is you who needs to forget the past, it is you who needs to mend situations, it is you who needs to think, act, react, judge and take control of your life. 

So, you still think it's Time, who is kind of cool! Tick tock goes the clock, and all you do is wait, wait till it's all over, wait for things to go haywire, wait for nothing to work out anymore. And finally end of it all, you find Time has betrayed you yet another time and run away. 

Good times, bad times, better times and worse times. You can hold nothing back. But there is surely one thing you can hold on to. Yourself. It is yourself that makes you keep going and not Time. The best time comes to you because you have earned it, the reason you go through the worst time at some point in your life, is because you deserved it. You are responsible for everything that happens, and not Time. Because you have underestimated yourself and have let others do so too. So, where is She playing a role in this?

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Do you feel you can trust Her? Hang on, can you see Her mocking at you? Can you see Her playing games wearing a cloak of disguise? Can you see how relentlessly She is trying Her best to tick faster? And you like a fool are just waiting. Waiting for your life to settle, waiting for the right path to curve itself. Your anticipation never seem to seize. Does it? It goes on flowing with every heart beat and you become completely oblivious to the fact that She is gone! A Time gone forever. 

And once again She fooled you! And you have let Her. What are you doing now, crying it out? Poor you!

It is an inevitable mistake that you commit, I commit, everyone of us commit. We trust Time. We keep faith in her to mend situations, people and circumstances. Bring a change in your life. Act now. Be a survivor and guard yourself. Be a player and win it all. Be life and live it. 

Look at Her, she is ticking away to glory! 

Hope.

"Hope is when you know you need to let go, but hold on anyway"

Learn to let go of your hopes. Sometimes. 


With hope comes pains and suffering, isn't it? You hope for something big, you hope for something small. You hope for nothing. And finally where does it all take you. Nowhere. Just about nowhere.

Stop hoping, please and move on. Trust me, it will cost you nothing. What you are clinging on to might have already gone. Stop holding on to it. I know, I know it is very difficult to let go. But try at least. It will save your life and not harm you.   

There will come a time when you are going to laugh at your past. Have patience to wait for that celestial hour in your life. Hope with things that are going to be worth it in the end. Give away your hope to people who would respect it. It might feel to be a seamless impossibility, but relax, you will be rewarded.

Almost all of us like the pain of hoping against hope. Almost all of us are ruthless lovers and friends. Almost all of us are pathetic at trying to live life! Hang on, wait, take your time, contemplate, get over it and MOVE ON!

Hoping is not a crime, but inflicting pain on yourself is. There is nothing wrong in expecting, but there is nothing right either, in wronging your being for someone or something that will not make you happy.

When was the last time you let go of something dear to you, easily? When was the last time you thought just for yourself? When was the last time you sacrificed something thinking about your own happiness in the future? Do you remember? It's ok, neither do I. Incorrigible aren't we? 

Hope like a child, so that you can forget about it soon. Treat every hope like a mirage. Treat each of your hope like sand. Don't run towards it, don't grip it too hard. Hope will keep coming back to you in a different disguise every time. You just have to learn to let it go.

Period. 
Image Courtesy: Asitavsen.com

Importance of Trust in a Relationship

It's a small 5-letter word. And yet the absence of it can make everything seem worthless. Without it, you won't see eye-to-eye with a person. Without it you'd wish you die rather than share your space, your heart with that one person. Without trust, relationships crumble. 

So, how deep is the importance of trust? Too much. When you love someone, your love towards them is reciprocated on how they trust you. Trust is the face of love. Without it, there is no love. Without it, there is no respect. Through trust you measure the depth of the relationship. You'd not trust your colleague like you trust your parents now, isn't it? 

However, the reason for writing this post isn't on just the importance of trust, it's on how trust is increasingly vanishing in relationships all around. Saddening.

Trust is like the winter fog. The morning fog truly brings the joy of the season, isn't it? Similarly, without trust, no matter how entwined you are in the other person's life, there still be that one reason to separate you two. You may comment on that other person's post every time he/she updates it, but your relationship wouldn't hold ground if you don't share your darkest fears. 

The crux of any relationship is trust. Without trust, misunderstandings creep in. With misunderstanding, the inevitable fights, and with that, a closed chapter. A closed chapter in case of a relationship is easier said than done. When you trust someone blindly till the very end, it's difficult to walk the same line after you are hurt. However, we humans love to commit mistakes time and again. And we inevitably begin trusting someone, anyone.

The need of the hour isn't to stop trusting anyone. It's about choosing the right person for showering our trust. When we trust someone so deeply, we might as well do that with a little forethought. Take some time out from your busy schedule and sit down to think about the people who really care for you. Not the ones who remember you for that one favor, not the ones who wish you on Facebook on your birthday. But the ones who just need a phone call to be right there beside you, who know your saddest thoughts, who know your deepest desires.

Often, we make the simple mistake of not being able to differentiate between the ones whom we trust and the ones who trust us. It's not a necessity that the ones you trust will trust you in return. So, forgive yourself and find the true gems, the ones who trust you, and make them feel special.

An earnest request of mine  - Trust the one who loves you. He/she will feel loved..will feel happy.