Importance of Trust in a Relationship

It's a small 5-letter word. And yet the absence of it can make everything seem worthless. Without it, you won't see eye-to-eye with a person. Without it you'd wish you die rather than share your space, your heart with that one person. Without trust, relationships crumble. 

So, how deep is the importance of trust? Too much. When you love someone, your love towards them is reciprocated on how they trust you. Trust is the face of love. Without it, there is no love. Without it, there is no respect. Through trust you measure the depth of the relationship. You'd not trust your colleague like you trust your parents now, isn't it? 

However, the reason for writing this post isn't on just the importance of trust, it's on how trust is increasingly vanishing in relationships all around. Saddening.

Trust is like the winter fog. The morning fog truly brings the joy of the season, isn't it? Similarly, without trust, no matter how entwined you are in the other person's life, there still be that one reason to separate you two. You may comment on that other person's post every time he/she updates it, but your relationship wouldn't hold ground if you don't share your darkest fears. 

The crux of any relationship is trust. Without trust, misunderstandings creep in. With misunderstanding, the inevitable fights, and with that, a closed chapter. A closed chapter in case of a relationship is easier said than done. When you trust someone blindly till the very end, it's difficult to walk the same line after you are hurt. However, we humans love to commit mistakes time and again. And we inevitably begin trusting someone, anyone.

The need of the hour isn't to stop trusting anyone. It's about choosing the right person for showering our trust. When we trust someone so deeply, we might as well do that with a little forethought. Take some time out from your busy schedule and sit down to think about the people who really care for you. Not the ones who remember you for that one favor, not the ones who wish you on Facebook on your birthday. But the ones who just need a phone call to be right there beside you, who know your saddest thoughts, who know your deepest desires.

Often, we make the simple mistake of not being able to differentiate between the ones whom we trust and the ones who trust us. It's not a necessity that the ones you trust will trust you in return. So, forgive yourself and find the true gems, the ones who trust you, and make them feel special.

An earnest request of mine  - Trust the one who loves you. He/she will feel loved..will feel happy.

Choices....

 “No one else can ever make your choices for you. Your choices are yours alone. They are as much a part of you as every breath you will take, every moment of your life.” - Anonymous

Choices...They can kill you. 

Standing at one of those crossroads of life, I have understood and realized  that each step we take is intricately woven with a choice. A choice that we had to make at the cost of hurting people.  But, nothing really comes free. 

You stand in the middle with a wide 'elastic' string in your hand. Two of your loved ones stand at each end. Both of them tug and pull, to drag you to their side, making it more difficult for you to stand balanced. But you try hard to remain neutral, try your best not to be biased, not to defend any one of the two. But you fail so miserably. 

Both of them keep questions in front of you, questions you find difficult to answer. Questions that compel you to question yourself. But, your mind suddenly starts acting like a jigsaw puzzle. But how long are you going to stand there. You need to move forward, take a step. You know you can't last long, you have to make a CHOICE.

...And what's worse, you can't afford to look back. Yet, your past pulls you behind like a magnet, making you think of all choices that you had made, choices and decisions that were so wrong that it nearly took away your sanity. 

But now, you need to let go of the past feelings. You need to concentrate on the current choice that you need to make. A wrong step would prove to be fatal. Any side of the string you go, the other side would stretch away with the elastic string, and finally you would be left with nothing but a 'broken string'. 

But, you would not like to lose any of the two persons, you can't afford to. You bang your head, you cry aloud, go through sleepless nights, lose your sanity, and you just can't come out with a solution. 

You know, that no matter what choice you make, it is going to go against you! But then you ask yourself, if it's going to be worth it in the end. With choice comes a sacrifice. A cost. What if the one you sacrifice it all for is not worth anything? What if, you lose yourself in the process? What if nothing works out and all your loved ones go against you in the end, just because of this one choice that you make now? What if, ten years down the line you find no one by your side. Not even the one you made the choice for? 

What if, what if, what if.......It's all so nightmarish!

Every one of us go through such a crucial and cruel point in life when we need to decide on something. For someone. While some choices made prove fruitful, maximum of the others just go for a complete toss. 

But you know what, it's ok. It's ok as long as you don't lose faith in yourself. It' ok as long as you believe you have taken the right decision. It's ok if you feel that it is all going to be worth if not forever but for few  special moments in life....

No one makes the choice for you. It's perfectly fine, because it's your choice. You made the choice because you fell in love with it. Be possessive about it. Because your CHOICE is yours alone. 

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A Fanatical Search For The Missing Clue

"The nice thing about doing a crossword puzzle is, you know there is a solution." - Stephen Sondheim.

But what about life? I wish life was a crossword puzzle too, at least then I would know that there is a solution, all i needed to do was find out what that was. However, it is a topsy turvy thing with life. You and every one around you are puzzled and dazed, with not knowing what to do....

Every one of us are dealing with problems, while only very few are solved, most of our problems do not have an end. We search and we search for a solution fanatically, but what's the point? We think it's solved, when it comes back to us as fast as a boomerang hitting us harder on the head. We remain injured, seriously injured, but you know what?...

There is no healing!

While you might think what you are dealing with is the worst that can happen to anyone, there is another person, may be a stranger, walking right past you, who might be even more unfortunate than you are. 

Everyone is going berserk! Ouch! 

Each one of us feel the same way. But what drives me completely crazy is when I can't figure what exactly is wrong. I mean , if you think hard, you might realize that there is no real problem that surrounds us most of the times, but still we are unhappy and discontented with what we have. So where does it all lie? Can it be only in our subconscious? Are we crazy bunch of being living in a disastrously complex world that is destroying everything around us, our relationships, things we love and finally breaking 'US' and leaving us so fragile? And all of this without any reason whatsoever? 

All of us are living with completely different problems, but what connects each of us is the fact that we never seem to find that last remaining piece that would complete the puzzle. We are fanatically searching for the missing clue. 

And the worst feeling is when we are not able to decipher what or where the whole trouble lies. We blame people, people blame us, we blame ourselves and people approve of that.  And it goes on and on like a cycle, that would never end.  It;s so complex that it tires me to even pen down these thoughts...

Just wishing that at least once in life we are able to find the missing clue.....

So that we can take that one last missing piece of life's puzzle to our graves. 

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How Much Are You Worth?

"Self-worth comes from one thing - thinking that you are worthy". Wayne Dyer

Just how much are you worth, to yourself and others around you? A penny, million dollars or priceless? Have you ever given it a thought? You might be leading a life, when you are loved and truly cared for. But there comes a time when your being starts to lose a meaning to your loved one and you start doubting yourself.

In life, it is important to stand up for yourself, voice your opinion, live your own life and do what you want to do. But love and care almost always binds you in doing something else just to see that sparkling smile on his face. And you are completely satisfied and happy doing it, like joyous that you are! You are gonna go all the way, break rules, step beyond boundaries to love him and do everything you can....

But then there comes day when you are bound to question yourself what is exactly your worth? You are going to find people telling you that your one mistake, a single wrong-doing leaves everything you ever did, UNDONE! You hear that, believe in it and you break down. What utterances! What loud words! Incapable of you to take it in! But then you do, you comply thinking yourself to be absolutely unworthy for the person's love and care! 

But still you live and you love, because that one person is rooted there beside you like your pillar.....

But wait, there is a question I keep asking myself. What is more vital for my living being - what others think of me, or what I think of myself. Is it really important to take in how others judge me, or where I see myself standing? But then all goes in vain when you have already believed in their words. 

You are going to come across people, in varieties. While some would stay, others would leave. Some with footprints, and others silently. Your parents, friends, lovers, all of them might judge you from time to time. Blame you, confront you, question you, break you and again make you, because they love you with all their mighty hearts.

Living life with people around, it is not quite possible to live on our own terms. And you should not, not worth it! But what you can do is, believe in yourself, in who you are. Discover and find yourself from your own ashes. Remember you are priceless, a star that shines even in the darkest night. Value yourself if you want your loved ones to value you. Take yourself for granted....

Because for others you might be worth nothing. But to yourself you are worth everything. 

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My Size Is An 'XS'

Oh yes! I wear an XS size. And i love it! And also because nothing else fits me! I go wild trying to choose a dress. I love it. I go to the trial room to check if this fits me. I pray,and keep my fingers crossed. But shit! Not my type! I grow sad and I whine. And finally I always have people around trying to pamper me with something else at least. And then I find it, yes i find it. Wow! i look nice, I see myself a dozen times in the mirror before I buy it, finally. 


Does it happen to you too, girl!?


As long as I remain an 'XS'. Because there is something else that saddens me. Taking myself ten years down the line.....


There you go.......Six years married with two kids, and wearing a size of, uummmm! XL!! Oh no! For a woman, there is no nightmare more gross and horrific than her weight! Isn't it? But who would really care about her aspirations, dreams, wishes and wants? Who would actually have the time to ask her about her wellness? 


Ten years down the line she is going to be a wife, a mother, a daughter-in-law and a home maker. Sacrificing her whole self towards every one around (if not already). No one is really going to care if she has had her breakfast, neither would anyone care for her sleep. She would spend sleepless nights feeding her baby, walking around the room and balcony, only to make the baby sleep. Who would care for her heavy breasts or her 'kurti' size? Who would care to even turn around and give her a second look, (coz she was once so beautiful!, and still is. People would just not mind, anymore, not looking at her).

She would only be judged for something that she has forgotten to work out, to do. She would only be judged for her mistakes. She would only be pointed at for not fulfilling a certain promise to her 'family'. Her life would solely depend on her future generations. She is going to be judged on how well she is bringing up and nurturing her children. 


She cannot take a wrong step, she cannot go beyond the boundary. She cannot cross a certain line. She needs to be the 'perfect' woman. There can be no word as 'tired', 'alone', 'rest' or 'comfort' in her dictionary. She would take care of everything and everyone but herself. But, who really cares! To make her voice heard, she would sound rude. So it's best to shut up! Right! 


For those who are an exception! Congratulations. For those who aren't, well, I am waiting for a solution. 


Can people just do one favour? There are terms called remembered and thankful. Keep these words in your dictionary, so that you don't forget to appreciate her when you have the 'time', a little from your busy schedule. 


And for all you girls! Till then enjoy your size 'XS'.


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When You Are Gone....

“I am going away with him to an unknown country where I shall have no past and no name, and where I shall be born again with a new face and an untried heart.”

I can't breathe. Air with it's invisible cruel hand, tries to throttle me. But every time i escape and i regret. I regret for being alive. I regret that i survive without you. I don't want days to favor me. I don't want the ticking clock to loan me more time. I don't need space. I don't want suffocation. I just want you. I want to fly with you. But my wings are broken...When you are gone. 

I am trying to feel free. I am moving on, but not with life. I am riding on wheels which have long lost their essence to be strong. I am weak on my knees. I hate this feeling, a feeling so hollow and empty. It never seems to go away. I am always amidst a crowd, laughing, smiling, sighing and dying within with loneliness....When you are gone. 

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I am tired. I am thirsty to take a look at you. I am thirsty to feel you in my arms again. I am going insane trying to make people hear me out. To scream at them to leave me alone. I am dying out waiting, waiting to whisper sinfully on your lips. Waiting to give my eyes some rest. Waiting for my solace to come back to me. Waiting for you to fulfill everything that I lost....When you are gone.

I want you to be happy. Very happy. I want you to fulfill all your dreams. I want you to come and tell me how you have been. I want to listen you speak, and make love to your voice along with the whole of you.

You are my reason to breathe, hope, survive, and finally live counting every moment waiting and asking myself, how long more do i have to wait before i can love you with fulfillment? 

Because you are gone.....


But i will be in you again, with you forever more like your shadow.....And i know such feelings are going to worth it in the end, it has been all the while before i met you. And it will be.

Furry Best Friends

Ok, so he can't talk....And that's the only thing he can't do. So what?

He feels. He listens to and understands every little thing you mention. Every little thing you tell him. He cries when you scold him, he growls when angry, he wakes you up from sleep, he follows you to bed. He clings on to all your trying to make it his own, he detests in sharing you with an outsider. He is possessive....yes!

He lends a patient ear when you talk to him because you feel lonely and you don't have anybody else to talk to. He sits beside you when you read, he keeps secrets. He welcomes guests and makes them feel warm. He tries to stop you when you are leaving for the day, and complains when you are back. Yet loves you because you are finally back home. 

He hates getting his ears pulled, but he would love biting and licking you till he is satisfied. He becomes too obedient when given a treat but can take away your sleep if it's time for his snack. 

He wakes people up early morning because it's time for his walk, but hates getting disturbed when he takes a nap under the bed. He  nudges you with his wet nose right in the middle of the night, he pushes you off the bed when he doesn't get enough space to sleep. 

He loves, he cares, he protects like a best friend. He gives you company when the world is silent. He protects you when you are alone, and consoles you when you are weeping your heart out. He struggles with you, give you all the happiness of the world. 

The only thing wrong with him - He doesn't expect, hope, and want anything in return. He does not hate, or conspire. He is not ungrateful nor is he unfaithful. He doesn't desire, dream or wish. 

I guess they are everything that we humans are not.....That is what sets them apart. Entirely apart from the rest of the world.

They are the furry best friends.

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